Monday, November 19, 2007
Impending: Family Reunion!
Let me say that we are not a close-knit family.
We love and respect each other, but (except for the welcome exception of my youngest brother) we have communication issues.
Sometimes we go for a year or two without so much as a telephone call (or even email, and we are all geeks of some sort or another), and it is not because we have hidden resentments (although those certainly will exist), but there is an emotional reluctance, I guess.
We are 6 kids, 4 boys and two girls, and I am the oldest. My mother will turn 80 next month, and I decided to try to get over to the States for her birthday, and told my siblings I thought it would be nice if most of us could turn up for the event... and now it is actually going to happen! All six of us, plus my 3 offspring, plus my ex-wife, are going to be in one place for a week.
I am very worried. This hasn't happened but once in the last 30 years.
We have all gone very different ways and live widely scattered between west Germany and Hawaii.
Will we be able to communicate any better face to face? Am I doing a very stupid thing to set this up in the first place?
By the way, none of us has had the nerve to tell my mother this is happening. If she knew, she would feel personally responsible for cleaning the entire city of St. Paul Minnesota on her hands and knees for our arrival, and we think she deserves better than that.
I am scared.
We love and respect each other, but (except for the welcome exception of my youngest brother) we have communication issues.
Sometimes we go for a year or two without so much as a telephone call (or even email, and we are all geeks of some sort or another), and it is not because we have hidden resentments (although those certainly will exist), but there is an emotional reluctance, I guess.
We are 6 kids, 4 boys and two girls, and I am the oldest. My mother will turn 80 next month, and I decided to try to get over to the States for her birthday, and told my siblings I thought it would be nice if most of us could turn up for the event... and now it is actually going to happen! All six of us, plus my 3 offspring, plus my ex-wife, are going to be in one place for a week.
I am very worried. This hasn't happened but once in the last 30 years.
We have all gone very different ways and live widely scattered between west Germany and Hawaii.
Will we be able to communicate any better face to face? Am I doing a very stupid thing to set this up in the first place?
By the way, none of us has had the nerve to tell my mother this is happening. If she knew, she would feel personally responsible for cleaning the entire city of St. Paul Minnesota on her hands and knees for our arrival, and we think she deserves better than that.
I am scared.
# posted by vailian : 6:53 PM
Comments:
<< Home
Well, you don't all need to spend the whole week together, joined at the hip, so to speak. People will drift in and out of groups and people will want to do different things at different times. Apart from the actual birthday celebrations you don't all need to be in the same place at the same time. Also, communication is about far more than just talking to each other - as you say, you all love and respect each other and that should see you through a great deal. I'm not surprised you're scared, but it's a great thing to do.
I was an only child so I can't really relate. All I know is that if my offspring didn't call me weekly (and he is 3000 km away) I'd go mad. Look at this reunion as you would a blogger meet, take each person as they are, hopefully no one will be judgemental and since you all love and respect each other you will be fine. Relax and have a fun time...ciao
Hey stranger!! :-)
First, a word of advice: if your mom is a cleaning nut, do NOT spring this on her. She will be mortified, thinking only of the embarrassment of her house not being just as she'd have liked. I'd definitely tell her, otherwise the other stuff (embarrassment, ill "preparation," etc) will stay foremost in her mind and she won't enjoy herself.
Second: I think it's FABULOUS that you're doing this! Trust me, if I didn't take things into my own hands on a regular basis, none of my brothers would see each other (and they all live in the Bay Area, while I'm in Seattle!). Don't expect it to go perfectly and don't feel responsible for HOW it goes (beyond the planning logistics), just have fun!
Have a wonderful time! Any chance of a quick jaunt to Seattle before or after?
Carol
First, a word of advice: if your mom is a cleaning nut, do NOT spring this on her. She will be mortified, thinking only of the embarrassment of her house not being just as she'd have liked. I'd definitely tell her, otherwise the other stuff (embarrassment, ill "preparation," etc) will stay foremost in her mind and she won't enjoy herself.
Second: I think it's FABULOUS that you're doing this! Trust me, if I didn't take things into my own hands on a regular basis, none of my brothers would see each other (and they all live in the Bay Area, while I'm in Seattle!). Don't expect it to go perfectly and don't feel responsible for HOW it goes (beyond the planning logistics), just have fun!
Have a wonderful time! Any chance of a quick jaunt to Seattle before or after?
Carol
I´m really, really interested to read about what went on there. Family reunions are like a horror movie waiting to happen. Wait. That would be my family reunion (like that could ever happen). So I hope it goes smoothly for you.
Post a Comment
# posted by 
: 22/11/07 12:15
: 22/11/07 12:15<< Home
