vailian

You may see a sign like this in German homes, it is a reminder that it is not allowed to urinate standing up. I am polite enough to follow this when I am visting friends... but this reminds me of some of the things that the Ossie and I disagree about, maybe I will list a few of them here. We get on generally quite well, but it is not a coincidence that we don't live together...

Proper Position to Pee: I maintain that it is unmanly to sit down, she says it is uncouth to stand up. Our present compromise: In the privacy of my own home, I stand erect.
How to store Butter: I think it belongs in the fridge, she keeps it in the pantry. She goes nuts if I don't cut the butter parallel to one of the edges.
Slicing Bread: In Germany bread is never presliced. I like one-inch slices, she insists on no more than 1/4 inch.
Television: She has never owned a TV, says it is unsocial and is complete crap. I have to agree with her but still like watching from time to time. I feel that you have to see some junk to appreciate quality.
Coats: In winter, it rains here most days. I like to wear rain jackets. This is logical, right? She says it is unbecoming of a man in my position, and makes me look like an American tourist. She prefers that I wear long wool coats, which are a real pain in the ass to bicycle in.
Backgammon Rules: We started playing backgammon at Christmas, neither of knowing the rules, we kind of made some up after finding out the basic principles of the game. Then I started reading up on the backgammon and realized we were not playing it properly... with our version, each game took ages to play— but now she refuses to play with the standard rules, saying "we have always played that way and I don't intend to change now!" (It would be easier to accept this if she didn't win every single game.)
Furniture Positions: I like rearranging my furniture at irregular intervals. It keeps my mind fresh and there is nothing like having a table in a new position to provide one with new ideas. More disturbing perhaps is my habit of moving my bedroom... at one time or another my bedroom has been in 6 different rooms in my apartment. Not bad considering the apartment has only 7 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms). She finds this totally ridiculous, and says anyhow my furniture doesn't match. Which is true, when I look around the living room here where I am sitting, there is a bookcase from about 1840, flanked by 2 CD racks from Habitat; a very nice music cabinet with is surrounded by pretty ugly 1940s German shelves filled with cardboard boxes from Ikea filled with music scores; a huge Belgian glass front cabinet (ca 1890) has the most ridiculous collection of old cameras, violins piled every which way, a motley array of cups and things that I never use, and drawers full of violin accessoires. Under the lovely Steinway grand that belonged to my father, a stack of nasty Ikea three-legged stools. The inlaid antique dining table I am now seated at has a protective cover of really inferior formica, and around the table are four 80-year-old chairs and a particularly cheap-looking office chair on wheels. And that is only the north end of the living room.
I like her living room, it is beautifully arranged and very harmonious. But I cannot help but feel that it will look exactly the same for the next 30 years, I feel like you do at your grandma's house, where nothing can be moved so much as 2 inches for fear of assaulting the symmetry.
Parties: She loves parties, and says it is very impolite to leave one before midnight. I don't mind parties per se, but when I have had enough I want to go home.
Films: We do go to movies pretty often (she refuses to watch TV), but they have to be carefully chosen. She likes the documentaries on sheep farmers in Serbia and I like romantic comedies. (We share however a love for any film by Jim jarmusch)